Archive for the “Analogies, Innuendos, and Double Entendres” Category

How to say what you don’t mean when someone to whom you can’t say it insists

A long time ago a good friend was walking around our apartment with a guitar being musical.  He wasn’t covering ‘Deep Purple’ or anything that cliché, just strummin’ and sangin’ and having fun.  We had ‘Jeopardy’ on the television, and as anyone knows (I remember Art Fleming) they play the theme music while the contestants write down their final ‘question’ on the last part of the show.  Spontaneously, he began playing along with the TV and making up lyrics for the Jeopardy theme.  It started off clumsily, but the final line left us rolling in stitches.  It was funny enough to leave an indelible mark in my memory.  I wish I could say I truly remembered it, but this is the best I can do:

Pick a square and Alex will read it
if you know the answer, you get the money
but if you screw the bonus round
they’ll stand you up and hose you down


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“I have a compulsive tendency to say things that I know are true that people don’t want to be true.  In most of society, that practice works disastrously, if you prove it, they hate you even more.”

– Hans Reiser, as reported by WIRED Magazine

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You are like an organic pop-tart in a Kroger of bad cheese.

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