I like coffee. Coffee is a tree native to South America, and the seeds of the tree make a popular beverage known for it’s stimulant qualities. It’s such a useful stimulant that just about every country with enough economically-feasible land for growing coffee trees has at least a little of their own now*. The idea is to get the little hard seed out of the fruit, roast it, grind up the roasted bean, steep it in boiling water or blast it with steam, and then add milk and honey.
Think about all the machinery and technology involved with making this bitter boiled bean juice. I mean, really? REALLY? Coffee tech involves roasters and toasters and antique brass expresso makers and yeah, I’m old enough to remember the 5 O’Clock Coffee grinder at the end of every check-out aisle at the A & P Grocery Store.
The chemistry of the active ingredients is well known. Caffeine, another one of those handy xanthine derivatives from the botanicals of South America, is the main base stimulant. The organic botanical nature of the base ingredient creates a brazillion (pun intended) different mixtures of oils and bitter alkaloids which can be prepared in so many different ways, the culture of coffee preparation and consumption rivals many complex foodstuff lifecycles. It’s not just about the caffeine, caffeine is available over the counter from discount pharmaceutical supply merchants at a fraction of the cost of coffee, and yet saturated overkill location coffee product franchises continue to post profits from the sale of their highly fashionable and pragmatically socialized boiled bean juice mixtures.
As usual, I’ve sought ways to amplify a good thing into a fantastic thing. I believe I have succeeded. Let’s take this consumable but otherwise slightly sub-miraculous bean brew and add another known complex chemistry family… alcohol.
Mixing stimulants and depressants? Nothing new here. This is a pretty mild form of dosing which I credit Shelton and Mavrides with terming “Crisis Crank”. Not sure what, but something is going to happen.
This is my Saturday morning coffee. I use a generous sized shot glass and proportion thusly:
- 1 part Cointreu (or Gran Marnier), French orange flavored liqueur
- 3-4 parts Bailey’s Irish Cream (I recommend the regular flavor, but the Mint Chocolate, Caramel, and other flavor variants are tasty)
- 2 parts Frangelico (Italian Hazelnut liqueur)
- 2 parts Kahlua (Mexico)
- fill remainder of adequate vessel with strong coffee
* I’m pretty sure that Antarctica still has to import coffee