Standard Disclaimer

For entertainment purposes only.

The user takes full responsibility for everything and anything that could and/or does go wrong resulting in any kind or type of problem, difficulty, embarrassment, loss of money or goods or services or sleep or anything else whatsoever.

This text may contain explicit material some readers may find objectionable.
Parental guidance is advised
Action figures sold separately.
May be too intense for some viewers.
Slippery when wet.
Slightly enlarged to show detail.
Dealer prep extra.
Call before you dig.
Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.
You must be 18 to enter.
Use only with proper ventilation.
Keep away from open flame.
Do not use if safety seal is broken.
Do not inhale fumes.
If a rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue use.
Licensed drivers only.
Hard hat and safety goggles are required.
Keep away from pets.
If ingested, do not induce vomiting.
If symptoms persist, consult a physician.
Sold for industrial use only.
Special receptacle end.
Keep away from sunlight.
Tumble dry only.
No money down.
If any defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself.
You need not be present to win.
Please allow four to six weeks for delivery.
No salt added.
No MSG
This offer expires at midnight.
All sales final.
All rights reserved.
Prices subject to change without notice.
Keep out of reach of children.
Limit one per family please.
This product is meant for educational purposes only.
Void where prohibited.
At participating stores.
Quantities are limited while supply lasts.
Some assembly required.
No preservatives added.
Not street legal in some states.
Offer good only in USA.
Prices and mileage may vary.
Hardware and instructions included.
Wattages stated are maximum recommended.
List each check separately by bank number.
Batteries not included.
Contents may settle during shipment.
Use only as directed.
No other warranty expressed or implied.
Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment.
Postage will be paid by addressee.
This is not an offer to sell securities.
Apply only to affected area.
Sorry no C.O.D.’s.
We tested ours against the other leading brand…
Do not stamp.
Use other side for additional listings.
For recreational use only.
Do not disturb.
All models over 18 years of age.
If condition persists, consult your physician.
No user-serviceable parts inside.
Freshest if eaten before date on carton.
Subject to change without notice.
Times approximate.
Simulated picture.
No postage necessary if mailed in the United States.
Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement.
For off-road use only.
As seen on TV.
One size fits all.
Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients.
Colors may, in time, fade.
We have sent the forms which seem to be right for you.
For office use only.
Not affiliated with the American Red Cross.
Drop in any mailbox.
Edited for television.
Keep cool; process promptly.
Post office will not deliver without postage.
List was current at time of printing.
Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward.
Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform.
At participating locations only.
Not the Beatles.
Penalty for private use.
See label for sequence.
I repeat. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.
Do not write below this line.
Falling rock.
Lost ticket pays maximum rate.
Your cancelled check is your receipt.
Add toner.
Place stamp here.
Avoid contact with skin.
Sanitized for your protection.
Be sure each item is properly endorsed.
Elvis has left the building.
Sign here without admitting guilt.
User assumes full responsibility.
Terms and specifications may change without notice.
Watch for fallen rock.
No shoes, no shirt, no service.
Close cover before striking.
Slightly higher west of the Mississippi.
Employees and their families are not eligible.
Beware of Akita dog.
Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show.
Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery.
Take with food or milk or beer.
Any other application constitutes fraud.
Reproductions will not be honored.
You must be present to win.
No passes accepted for this engagement.
No purchase necessary.
Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton.
Shading within a garment may occur.
Use only in well-ventilated area.
Keep away from fire or flame.
Replace with same type.
Approved for veterans.
Booths for two or more.
Check here if tax deductible.
Some equipment shown is optional.
Price does not include taxes.
Not recommended for children.
Prerecorded for this time zone.
Reproduction strictly prohibited.
No solicitors.
Don’t feed the actors.
Do not leave unattended.
Shut off engine.
Live, except on West Coast.
Connect ground wire to avoid shock.
Do not remove protective covering.
Do not remove this tag under penalty of law.
We reserve the right to substitute equivalent items.
Bridge freezes before highway.
No anchovies unless otherwise specified.
Restaurant package, not for resale.
Sorry, we cannot be responsible for errors in typing.
Keep away from moisture, rain, snow, gloom of night, and so forth.
List at least two alternate dates.
First pull up, then pull down.
Call toll free before digging.
Driver does not carry cash.
Trademarks mentioned appear for identification purposes only.
Record additional transactions on back of previous stub.
All employees are required to wash hands before returning to wok.
Send check or cash now.
Four-Week clearance on personal checks.
Payment in U.S. currency only.
No Canadian coins.
No slugs.

This message is intended for the private use of our readers and any reproduction, rebroadcast, or any other accounts of this message without the prior written consent of the National Football League is strictly prohibited.

Any resemblance to actual persons, living, dead, or undead, is unintentional and purely coincidental.

This supersedes all previous notices.

NO PART OF THIS MESSAGE COVERED BY THE COPYRIGHT HEREIN MAY BE REPRODUCED OR COPIED IN ANY FORM OR BY ANY MEANS–GRAPHIC, ELECTRONIC, OR MECHANICAL, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO: PHOTOCOPYING, RECORDING, TAPING, OR INFORMATION STORAGE AND RETRIEVAL SYSTEMS–WITHOUT WRITTEN PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR AND PUBLISHER.

The preceding was a paid political announcement.


Thanks to Justicar at Panix for this

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